Startling discovery: Yetis sophisticated enough to govern states

In the same week when news broke of the discovery of Homo neladi in South Africa, scientists right here in the USA have announced a startling new find.  While the Yeti, also knows as Sasquatch or Big Foot, has always been viewed by the scientific community as something between a myth and a hoax, researchers now say they have the best evidence yet that such a creature actually exists.  And while the creature is a base, small-brained, primitive beast, it is nonetheless sophisticated enough in its motor and language skills to govern a state.  The beast is known to be aggressive, especially with public-school teachers and other state workers, and it often communicates with grunts and clicking sounds.  It is capable only of basic ideas and calculations, but it nonetheless possesses a facility with grammar and syntax far superior to some actual humans, like George W. Bush and Sarah Palin.

Scientists are reasonably certain that this famous photo of a Sasquatch is a hoax:

sasquatchBut experts say that this photo is real, and it purports to show the beast, which governs a large northeastern state, alighting from a helicopter:

CHRISTIE-HELICOPTER-largeHaving evaluated the evidence, we CONCUR: there is a Yeti in charge of New Jersey.

How about you?

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