by Brendan Beery
Did you ever look at a snake and think, wow, I’m glad I’m human? I mean, I suppose I could have been born a snake – the snake had to be born a snake. How bad would it suck to be a dumb reptile and locomote by slithering and have to share a good lay with a “mating ball”? Never mind the diet of rodents.
In the species lotto, we all hit the jackpot. And if you’re a “natural born citizen” of the USA, it’s like, when you were born, you’d won the lotto twice on the same day. How can a being who was born both human and American not worship on the altar of chance?
Every blessing I have in life I have by dumb luck. I earned none of it. This knowing and humility is what makes me a progressive. I don’t presume that everything I have resulted from hard work alone, and I certainly don’t presume that some deity pulled strings on my behalf 47 years and one day ago. What could I have done to merit such favors before I’d had my first thought?
This is why I don’t get the ‘us versus them’ approach to immigration. Who could think that, by dint of chance alone, he should occupy some privileged slot in the pecking order? Were you wheeled to the front of some queue in a rickshaw without having to move or even direct your driver, would you look back at all the people behind you with condescending contempt?
To arrive at Americanism by birth is to be wheeled to the front of the line in a rickshaw. You’ll pardon me for suggesting that the driver who hauled your ass deserves to be there more than you do. In the same vein, all hail to that man who finds his way to citizenship through naturalization rather than by birth. Now there is somebody who’s earned it.
Last night, Donald Trump dressed down Univision host Jorge Ramos for asking a question out of order. Frankly, that was no surprise. Trump is a blowhard and a bully, and he’d made a campaign promise never to be as wimpy as Bernie Sanders when Sanders ceded his podium to a couple of agitators. Ramos did in fact interrupt Trump, and the result was predictable:
Trump didn’t hurt himself — certainly not among Republicans — by standing by while Ramos was banished
The real damage was done after Ramos’ banishment. That is when a Trump supporter confronted Ramos:
That Trump supporter summed up the ugliness and arrogance of American-born white assholes in just a couple sentences. A lazy thug who was born at the front of the line confronting a man whose US citizenship was earned. That is the way — presumptuous and entitled — of the modern conservative.